Poa kichizi kama ndizi

I've been studying up on my kiSwahili.

And this phrase made me laugh out loud.

Poa kichizi kama ndizi

go ahead, say it out loud...

I'll help you...

poh-ah

 ki-kee-zee

 kah-mah

nah-dee-zee

translation? 

cool like a crazy banana.

yay for Friday!

Just secured my seat to volunteer abroad with Cross Cultural Solutions in Tanzania. My sponsors so far have been amazing, and I am so grateful for your help with this. If you'd still like to donate, I'll be hosting an additional fundraiser next month so that I can extend my trip to teach conversational english and care for orphaned infants and young children diagnosed and affected by HIV and AIDS.

the last days of 2009 (Wednesday, Thursday)

My last days of the year were spent with Dad & favorite little brother working on installing drywall in Jackie's old bedroom. 

Yes, I'm renovating it so that I can set up a little guest room for my dad before I go to Africa.  I'll stock the bathroom with all the guest necessities, and the bedroom with hotel amenities, sheets, fluffy pillows, etc.  I want to make sure he doesn't have to worry about that stuff while I'm gone.

I am also working on packing away my life so that it will fit into just a few bins so that I can move it out to California in June after I get back from Africa.  So this is what my room looks like...  it's a hot mess.

And I have a party to get to tonight to say goodbye to 2009 and welcome 2010 with open arms.

the last days of 2009 (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday)

my sweet little reading list for the weeks to come...

I also put Hemingway's Snows of Kilimanjaro on hold at the local library.  The librarian is going to call me when it comes in... 

In addition to my reading list, I've been cleaning out my life lately.. and I have sooo much stuff.  I've got books, which I'm so excited for a book swap to come up in the blogosphere so I can trade out for some more good reading.  I've got some really good friends making reading lists for me.

Also, going through my hatboxes (you might remember, I have a thing for them), I've been looking through old photographs.  I'm sorting them out and scanning all of them in to my web database for my future personal use, and I'll be sending my friends the ones I want them to have... and I'm sure it will bring them happiness and smiles to remember the great times we've had all those years ago.  Afterall, it's bad luck to throw away photos, right?

Jewelry too.  I'm going through tons and tons of jewelry.  I've gotten a lot of jewelry as gifts from old boyfriends, old friends, grandmothers, my mama.  I found two old jewelry boxes and I'll be taking photos of them (to remember them fondly someday).

 I'm not selling all of my jewelry, don't worry.  I'm setting aside little packages for my sweet sisters, my bestie, and my little niece.  I have a plan in mind to spread the love.  Some of my nicer things, I'm dividing up and setting aside more little packages for my nearest & dearest.  It's quite fun to be reminscing like this, and at the same time, it's a bit painful to be doing this.  There are a lot of memories that I've put by the wayside and had forgotten until now.  But fear not,  it's more fun than anything, I promise.

I did find some pieces from old boyfriends that I could sell but it just seems wrong.  Should I send them back?  Should I keep them?  What's a girl to do?  I remember when I was in sixth grade(my first boyfriend), had given me really pretty (and expensive for a sixth grader) earrings.  When we 'broke up' six weeks later, I gave them back.  Two days later, another girl in my class was wearing them.  What an awful feeling.  I would never know if they 're-gifted' the items, and I'm so not worried about that.  It's just that there are some really sweet things that I have from old boyfriends and it occurred to me that I didn't want to keep them, but do I have it in me to sell them?

So I decided that I would ask you all your advice with my predicament... should I keep them, sell them or send them back?  What about you?  Have you ever sent something back after the end?

mixed emotions

There are good days, and there are bad days.

The good days are weighing out the bad days lately... actually, I haven't had a 'bad' day in quite some time.

I'm getting more comfortable being alone.

It's not a bad thing, it's not a sad thing.

It's just that I'm comfortable with myself.

I don't need someone to entertain me.

I can entertain myself for hours on end with no problem.

I even make myself laugh out loud sometimes.

I've done that to bestie, Allisen, while I'm in the middle of leaving a voice message for her.  I often make myself laugh and get distracted in the message.  Hence the reason that if I call you and you don't answer, I probably won't leave a message.  It won't make any sense.  It would be... nonsensical.  But you would laugh.  Because I laughed.  I would have made you smile.  But back to the task at hand...

To quote one of my favorite movies {Hope Floats} :

"beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will... "

There are days, as my departure date (02/19/2009) gets closer that I am nervous, scared and unsure of what I must be thinking.

I have doubt and fear about my choice to leave my oh-so-secure comfort zone.

I am sad to leave my family, my friends, my home of 12 years.

I'm sad to be giving away/selling all of my things.

I'm sad that I won't be able to see my friends or hug and kiss my sweet family any time I want.

I won't have my cell phone to get the text messages and facebook updates and voicemails that I love.

I won't have my stable mailbox where my friends & family send me post that makes me smile so much.

I'm nervous that I won't meet my deadline to raise the funds that I need to make this adventurous step forward in my life.

Underneath the fear and sadness of all of that, I have hope.

I have oh-so-much hope.

Hope that I am doing the right thing.

Hope that I will make a difference.

Even if only in the life of one child, woman or man.

Hope is all I have right now for my adventurous journey yet to begin...

I just need to give that hope a chance to float on up...

and it will.

christmas wish list

Dear Santa,

I've been super-sonic good this year and I thought you might like some guidelines for presents this year.

 I'll start with the....

Aviary DeskSet from Elum.

                  

           And a penpal or two.

Sponsorships for my trip to Kilimanjaro.  Donate as little as $1 and up to any amount that you want.. If you're feeling generous, or need a tax write-off, you can donate directly to the site or you can use PayPal at the bottom of the blog page.

 Either of these...

or any shoes as a matter of fact.  Really, though, I need a pair of trusty sandals for my time in Africa.  Also, probably a good pair of rain boots.  Any suggestions?

   

these sweet things to basically anywhere so I can get these...

A Very White Christmas in New York.

An apartment with an ocean view in San Diego.

And lastly, one of these...

Anything that you can't get this year, I'll understand.

This is pretty much an ongoing list for me.

Don't worry, it'll still be good next year.

XX,

Carrie

2 things left undone

- Recap -
List of things to do this week:

1 - visit family
2 - visit the Tanzanian embassy for my visa's
3 - photo shoot with Jac
4 - spend time with good friends
5 - pack for cali
6 - figure out how to take a train to JFK

Alright - so I didn't finish everything on my list... but does anyone ever really? There are always things left undone.

#3 - The photo shoot will hold until I get back... I'm sure Jac will be super excited to see me in December and we'll hang out bunches and we'll both take lots of photos.

#4 - I did start the process of obtaining my visa for my entry into Tanzania, but I cannot actually submit my application until I get back because you have to apply within 3 months of your arrival date. Which means, there are three months left until I leave for Kilimanjaro. We'll just leave it at that for now... there are a mixture of emotions that are going on right now about this trip and I am not quite ready to discuss them... I'll get into this more when I'm back from California and back to the lists and everything else I need to get done before February.

a sad day, but always a smile...

Don't be sad that it's over, smile because it happened.
~Dr. Seuss~



Today was a sad day for me. I left a job that I love and the people that I've worked with every week for five years. That's longer than any relationship I've ever been in, come to think of it. I learned a lot, but more importantly, made good friends.

Tomorrow begins the reality that is my new adventure. Heading down to visit the family in South Jersey with Jac. I've got loads of samples of mark. stuff to share. Also, taking my shoe collection with... family does get first dibs. Katie and Jac are looking into a fundraiser/going away party and I think maybe we could include an auction as well for the bigger-ticket items that have to go. Anyone know how to work an auction? Or do you have a super-cool auctioneer voice? Let me know.

List of things to do this week:
1 - visit family
2 - visit the Tanzanian embassy for my visa's
3 - photo shoot with Jac
4 - spend time with good friends
5 - pack for cali
6 - figure out how to take a train to JFK

More on this as the week unfolds...

I'm going to Africa...

I'm going to Africa.

I'm working down my list of things to do before I LEAVE FOR AFRICA.

It hasn't quite hit me yet that I'm leaving the country, yet.

So far, I've come to the conclusion that I'm leaving my job. It's just a job. There will be more until the day I find my career. Is that what they call it? A career. What about waking up every day and not thinking of work as a career, as a job... But instead, thinking, I'll do something that I love today. And when I'm tired of doing what I love, I'll sleep. And tomorrow, I'll want to do that same thing again.

So far, I've nearly exhausted my health care benefits. I've been to see every doctor & specialist that I've ever imagined. I've been prescribed and biopsied without question. A total of 12 minutes in a dermatologist's office (from sign in to door hitting me on the way out of the waiting room) and 2 slices of skin gone. talk about scary. Imagine my 25 year old self. I may be the only one you know that can keep her cool under pressure. I tend to freak out after the fact.

As a passenger once, while the driver slides on ice and fishtails, then puts her hands up in the air and screams; I'm the one that reaches over and calmly guides the car back onto the road and stops the disaster of the lake 10 feet to the right and the concrete walls 4 feet to the left. (ahem... Allisen...) Needless to say, about 15-20 minutes later, I was freaking out.

In addition to my new and improved medical records, I also starting listing my life for sale on craigslist.

Very.
Emotional.

Well, not so much my life, but what my life has, up until recently, been built around... my things. Moving out of my Chester apartment with Lisa (whom I miss dearly), I will never forget Allisen's reaction to my 7 collections of dishes. I mean, full-service of 12, seven different sets of dinnerware & matching kitchen accessories.

Overboard.
Way too much.

So, I'm currently listing my 'life' on craigslist.com.

So far:
a couch
matching 3-piece Ethan Allen dressers
2 matching Ethan Allen vanities
a piano from my grandmother(that makes me tear up to think of selling)
a clarinet (which I was contemplating giving back to my wonderful Aunt Terri that 'loaned' it to me over 12 years ago. )

I was also thinking of doing something fun like "book bundles." I have way too many books, my book shelves are overflowing, plus a closet full of boxes, and some in the basement as well.

What I really need is a yard sale. Just old-fashioned yard sale fun.

Maybe even a lemonade stand.

As the weather (snow), and the awful location ( 1 mile deep into the woods) don't really accomodate what I need to accomplish, I was thinking maybe an online yard sale...



how exactly does one hold an on-line yard sale??????